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August 20, 2012

Drinking your own pee: as good a topic as any to break a blogging hiatus. It came up in front-porch conversation a few nights ago, as it does from time to time and from porch to porch, and I have been thinking about it. Specifically, the idea that there is a health benefit to making of your mouth a urinal on a regular basis. This idea seems most prevalent in India and among  the kind of gullible white people who will swallow whole anything, no matter how batshit insane, that comes stamped with the seal of Authentic Indian Wisdom.

I strongly object to this sort of thing. Not for reasons of disgust: I do not care to moralize physical disgust and besides, urine falls pretty low on the scale of repulsion, it is after all generally sterile, watery, and neatly, officiously chemical. What is objectionable is the idea that our kidneys are somehow simply mistaken. That they don’t know their own business, and have gotten rid of things that need to be put back in. This is just another case of the cerebral abrogation that so often plays havoc with the body politic. The Big Brain always thinks it knows best, specifically the cerebral cortex, a crumpled wet tissue that bounces against the skull, looking so knowingly down on the rest of the organs, so superior, when in reality it is usually just a meddling fool.

Look at it from the point of view of the kidneys. They work tirelessly, night and day, without even the logical possibility of a bathroom break, to cleanse the body of sundry toxins, stinks, and excesses. They have been perfecting their nephritic talents over countless eons of evolutionary history. They are masters of excretion. You would think that they could count on having the satisfaction of knowing, as they pipe out their product to the bladder, that it least that particular batch of poison will be pissed out and ain’t never coming back. However endless the task, at least the flow goes only in one direction. And normally this is true. But once in a while the fucking brain, inspired by the bullshit chatter of another fucking brain, decides “Nope, I’m sending it right back at you, mixing it all up inside again for you to separate out once more.” Nose, tongue, and throat object, but the bully-boy brain overrules their good sense. And the kidneys, they have to put up with it, because their nature is simply to do what they do, go with the flow, in perfect harmony and without disputation.

This is not health, it is tyranny. It is not self-care, but decadence. A tragedy, a travesty, a shame, and a waste. And people will laugh at you.

Which is not to imply anything against drinking the pee of someone else. That is a whole different matter. It most commonly falls into the category of Romance, beyond the reach of all criticism. Who can gainsay the passions of another? Who dare interject their judgment, cerebral judgment, into the intimacies of two lovers, or exceptionally good friends, or whatever? Here we must draw a veil.

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