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Live-Blogging Debate (For Real?)

October 22, 2012

9:36
Managed get in a situation of debate exposure. Deeply disturbing. I have beer but only 24 oz. Not enough! This is foreign policy (although the conversation has currently veered domestic) which makes the bullshit more pure and ethereal, insidious.

9:40
Mitt is boasting about Massachusetts re: education. No one who wanted America as a whole to be more like Mass. in its public policy would vote for a Republican. If you want it to be more like Mississippi then he is your man.

9:42
I am seeing this debate on a very large screen. These men are larger than life size. Not recommended.

9:43
The navy is too small for Mitt. Undoubtedly to fight the mighty Iranian fleet.

9:45
Obama brings up game of Battleship. I was about to, but he was faster than me.

9:50
Israel. It still has Samaritans. According to Wikipedia there were 751 of them at the beginning of this year. But who speaks of the Samaritans today? If they were good enough for Jesus why are they not good enough for the leaders of today. America needs a stronger Samaritan policy.

9:54
Wordpress underlines “Obama” in red, as if it were a misspelling. They don’t do this to “Reagan” or “Nixon”. What’s going on? In fairness, WordPress also underlines the word “WordPress”. They are probably self-hating liberals.

9:56
The challenge for Obama is finding a variety of ways for pointing out that Romney is a liar. He must go deep into the thesaurus.

9:59
The reason O skipped Israel on his Mid East tour is because you don’t want that stamp in your passport if you are visiting the Arab countries. A travel tip: save Israel for the last stop on your Mid East journey.

10:02
But definitely go to Syria once the killing starts and they do some clean-up. I have it on good authority that it’s a wonderful place to visit. Very nice people, very inexpensive, some nice sights.

10:08
Obama points out Biden disagreed about blowing away Osama, paints him as like Romney in this respect. I am little disturbed that he has so little regard for Joe’s feelings. Joe is no Mitt, though both are teetotalers, which may make them unfit to lead a nation with such a glorious history of drunkenness as America.

10:10
Pakistan: I know nothing about it. Maybe Mitt should admit the same.

10:12
Obama had a Pakistani roommate back in his Columbia days. He still cooks a respectable chicken curry and has expressed an appreciation for Urdu poetry. He is far more qualified for killing Pakistanis than Romney.

10:14
I am almost finished with my beer. Fortunately I had no dinner, so that 24 ounces has been utilized to maximum effect. Wise drinkers don’t eat.

10:17
The Chinese use extremely short words for their numerals. This gives them an edge when storing numbers in their short-term memory. We will never be able to compete with the Chinese until we reduce the length of our numeral words. One consonant, one vowel, then out. “Seven” is a fucking disaster.

10:19
Apparently, American will be very strong if Mitt is president. Good to know!

10:22
China is manipulating its currency so Americans can buy its shit for cheap. The disadvantage is we don’t get to work 12-hour days making iPods in huge factories with suicide nets.

10:25
Mitt Romney is no longer the governor of anywhere. Calling him governor is creepy. It is a job, not a title of nobility.

10:26
Romney said “I am still speaking.” This was, in fact, entirely true.

10:28
O talking about competitiveness with China. No mention of their numeric-phonemic advantage!

10:30
I do not love most teachers. I am very exclusive in my teacher loving. Bob Schieffer is a slut.

10:31
I would like to hear Mitt’s closing remarks but that 24 oz. needs out.

10:34
The debate is over. The hugging begins.

10:37
My sponsor, or at least valued ally, for this debate was Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. An American beer that will help you through the hard times. Available in 24 ounce cans.

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