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O Happy Day!

February 29, 2012

How is it that Leap Day is not even a legal holiday? It is an extra day! How can that not be occasion for festival, gluttony, drunkenness, indecency, loafing, pyrotechniphilia, parading, car dealership savings events– all thing extraneous, extravagant, and not at all productive. It only comes around every four years! (With the century mark exception– remember ’96-’04? That endless wait, that desert of unremitting 365’s, it felt like we were all holding our breaths just a little past human endurance… no, wait a moment, actually for 2000 there was that divisible-by-400 rule kicking in, so there was a Leap Day, so you probably don’t remember that (thanks Wikipedia!).) Leap Day should be a magical time, or at least a time of forced, obligatory magicality. It should be a time when rules are suspended, social relations inverted, and some sort of crappy foodstuff is eaten by reason of tradition. There should be television specials. We need to know what the Peanuts gang were doing on Leap Day, how Charlie Brown was handling the terrible existential angst of it all. There should be greeting cards exploring all possible puns and plays on ‘leap.” There should be family gatherings ruined by drunken uncles on Leap Day, short stories leading up to remarkable Leap Day epiphanies. This should be a day on which the happy are happier, and the miserable even more wretchedly miserable, in accordance to God’s established law.

Some day this may all come to pass. Until then we can only struggle on privately, alone or with friends, to have ourselves a happy little Leap Day, tinged only with the sad knowledge that it is not as happy a Leap Day as it should be.

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